If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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