return my video game
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
