Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
