Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
