i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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