we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
