Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
