Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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