Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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