just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
