ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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