I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
