K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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