you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
