and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I met the friendliest cop last night
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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