jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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