I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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