Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
