At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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