Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
