I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
