so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
