Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dude. I can hear the air.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
