so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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