Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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