remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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