Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
