So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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