Sponge bath it is.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
He had one of those small greek statue penises
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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