We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
