I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
