why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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