i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
