How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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