so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
