Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
