Umm I'm too high to move.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
