Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
