I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
