you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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