Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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