I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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