went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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