Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
