So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize