Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
