When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
