Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
