Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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