Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
