Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
