piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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