Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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