help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
