Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
