she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
