dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
