i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
