Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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