he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
