My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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