I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
