Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
